


i want it to reach you, someday

by takunism (weareinnoir)



Category: JO1 (Japan Band)
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Drabble, Karaoke, M/M, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:40:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28040286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weareinnoir/pseuds/takunism
Summary: Wait, unrequited. The word sparks a memory in Ren's mind – some idol song he'd heard once.
Relationships: Kawanishi Takumi/Kawashiri Ren, junkeigo vaguely
Kudos: 9





	i want it to reach you, someday

The karaoke box seems far too big and far too small, all at once. It's too big, because Takumi and Ren started the night on opposite ends but didn't move as the night went on and the rest of their usual crew left, and it's too small, because Ren's had more to drink than usual and Takumi, Takumi, Takumi is all he can think about. It's even worse now that they're the only two left, after Junki had whispered a "with your shield or on it" into Ren's ear, before probably going to some love hotel with Keigo.

He's got it bad – has had it bad, really, ever since Takumi joined the university dance club, no matter how hard Ren tries to deny it. At some point, he'd tried to be noble about his feelings – Takumi's had girlfriends, Ren knows, and that doesn't mean he's not necessarily into guys, but it's enough to cast a shadow of doubt over his heart, too – but he'd realized, shortly after, that whatever he felt for Takumi was, at best, something he couldn't turn off, and at worst, was something incredibly selfish.

Takumi, at the other end of this giant, tiny box, has rolled his head back, hands idly playing with the straw of something he'd been drinking. "One more song each and then we're out too?" he suggests, sounding far more sober than Ren is. "You first, since you haven't sung yet."

"Neither have you," Ren argues.

Takumi shakes his head. "Duets with Heecheon AND Jun. You were glaring at Junki and Keigo the whole time, but I was singing with them then." It might be Ren's imagination, but there's a note of... something – something halfway between disappointment and jealousy – in Takumi's voice that makes Ren's stomach twist. And, yeah, Ren had been glaring at Junki and Keigo, because god, one of the worst things to look at as a guy with a most-likely-unrequited crush is a happy couple.

Wait, unrequited. The word sparks a memory in Ren's mind – some idol song he'd heard once. The lyrics are so on the nose that the sober Ren would never pick this one, but now he has to choose it, doesn't he? It's not like it's going to sway Takumi anyway.

So Ren nods, sighs, and mumbles, "W'ever, I don't mind singing anyway." It takes a second for him to find the song in the catalogue, but he queues it up the moment he does, relying on the liquid courage coursing through his veins to carry him through this without throwing up.

"At first, you know, I didn't feel anything towards you. It's enough to really make you laugh, isn't it?" he begins. "But when I got around to realizing it, my eyes were always following you around. It's kinda awful, somehow."

And it's not like Ren is singing to Takumi, directly, at first. He keeps his eyes on the screen, since he only kind of knows the lyrics to this song, anyway. But he puts his heart into every word, since he can at least blame it on the alcohol later, need be. The song ends before he knows it, with a last flourish of guitar and –

And eye contact with Takumi. When did he start making eye contact with Takumi? He looks away, too slowly to make it look like he was doing anything else.

"Ren-kun," Takumi says, after the moment passes, "Is that really how you feel?"

It feels like there's a weight pressing on Ren's chest; the laugh he lets out is desperate. "It's just some idol song, dude," Ren replies. (He sounds like Junki. This is all going terribly wrong, isn't it?) "Don't read into it too much."

Takumi shakes his head, standing up and walking to join Ren by the karaoke machine. "I've never heard you sing like that before," he says, voice soft, "and you look like you're about to cry."

Ren blinks. Oh, so there are tears in his eyes. Huh. He can't meet Takumi's gaze, all of a sudden. "Maybe," he replies, quietly.

"Hm?"

"I mean," Ren says, a little louder, because what does he have to lose at this point, "I know you don't feel the same, and it sucks, but I like you, Takumi."

There's a silence louder than Shunya at his loudest, and yet, Ren can hear his heart pounding in his ears. He has no idea what kind of expression Takumi has on his face, but when he finally gets the courage to look at the younger, he's surprised. Takumi is... smiling?

"Okay," Takumi says, reaching a hand up to cup Ren's cheek. "Just one question, though."

"What is it?"

"How do you know that I don't feel the same?"

Ren's breath hitches. "Oh," he manages, quietly.

Takumi steps a little bit closer – when they're this close, Ren can see the sparkle in Takumi's eyes, he swears. And he can stop himself from leaning down and kissing Takumi, probably, but this time, he doesn't – gently, chastely, little more than a pressing of lips on lips, but so full of affection and warmth that Ren relaxes, for the first time all night.

Takumi giggles when Ren pulls away. "One more song," he says, moving his hand down to hold one of Ren's. "How about a duet?"

"Duet it is," Ren agrees, grabbing the catalogue and smiling back.

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted earlier this year on write.as, reposting for consistency in my masterlist
> 
> title and concept from buono's kataomoi
> 
> follow me on twitter for more writing: @noir_fics


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